Wednesday, June 20, 2007


I haven't updated since the porn fiasco. I decided I probably should, if for no other reason than to get that off the first page of my blog. Yet another shining moment in the life of a self-proclaimed goofball....

I don't have much of an update, so I'll just babylon a bit, if that's okay. Or, to use the term my forum members so lovingly coined, I shall "vabble".

I have, once again, resurrected the craptop from the dead. Yeah, it died, po thang. I brought it back to life by hooking it back up to the power cable. Admittedly, that was a "doh!" moment on my part. But, dammit, this thing has no battery! When a laptop shuts off and refuses to reboot, I ASSUME it's kaput. It died again, this time with the power cable in. No little puff of smoke, no sparks, no last words, no nothing, just buh-bye whatever was on my screen. Dejectedly, I moved to the *gasp* desktop PC. It's my mom's and she was visiting her sister out west, so I was okay for a few days. Had to sit in a chair at a friggin' desk, but I was okay. Had to share the room with the litterbox, but I was okay. Had to switch everything to the other side of the desk (mom is a lefty and insists on acting like one. She puts the mouse on the wrong side of the keyboard!!), but I was okay.

Just for kicks one day, I found the Thinkpad out in the woods where it landed when I hurled it out the window, plugged it in, and BEHOLD the sight of the bright blue typically-annoying-as-hell-but-now-much-welcomed disk check! One of my disks needed "to be checked for consistency" (which I am now chanting in my sleep, along with "Myspace is free, but you must be logged in to do that!") , but hey, it looked like it was trying to work! And it continues to chug along, though I am typing this blog entry in notepad and saving at every other word, just to be on the safe side. It still kicks off, randomly.

New laptop will be here in about a month. Very excited. I'd been drooling over it for months, but had no excuse to buy it since my "real" laptop was working fine. But "real" laptop got fried by lightning, so "doorstop/laptop" (lapstop?) is substituting in the interim. I'll be back to work in no time (okay, in about a month), possibly even doing some legit flicks that I can actually show people without dragging them back to some dark internet alley, first. I feel like your normal, average, everyday, friendly neighborhood divorced suburban mom who moonlights as a trenchcoat-wearing flasher. My dirty little secret. And you know I am STILL getting responses about the PM I sent out??? I'm thinking of writing this off as one hell of a publicity stunt. It's getting my name out there, though it's not exactly how I wanted to be known...But I'll take it.

So, that's about it. It's summer, I just had a birthday (getting "you're old hahahahaha" cards from your parents is a real bummer, let me tell you), and 40 is a mere 3 years away. I looked in the mirror that day and told myself (yes, yes, I really did!) "Val, don't be a goob. In ten years, when you're 47, you'll be kicking yourself remembering how you were kicking yourself at 37, for kicking yourself at 27. Remember when you were 22, just out of college, and suddenly felt soooooo old because you were working with 18-19 year olds and felt so removed from that age group? College kids were suddenly 'kids'. Highschoolers might as well have been wearing diapers. YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE OLD AT 22!!! You're screwed at any age, let's face it." My version of a self pep-talk. I wouldn't recommend it for everyone, but it works for me.

My divorce became final on June 5. I'm going back and forth about this. If I could remember how to be a single person, it would help. Right now, if someone were to ask me out, I'm afraid my response would be "Let me ask my husband, first". It's not quite hit me yet. Of course, I can't get asked out unless I start going out, but none of my female friends are single. They all want to go bowling. Not one wants to cruise sleazy pick-up joints with me. Dammit, all my friends and their "happy marriages"!!

*shakes fist at the sky

I'll get there. My nightstand is full of "Rebuilding after your divorce" books. They've been very helpful. I use them as coasters while I read my People magazines and play my sims game. Looking at my nightstand right now, I am doing a little self-analysis. I have two divorce books, both given as "gifts", and my glass of iced tea is sitting atop them. Those two books are on top of a couple of murder mysteries. Now that's interesting....There's an empty box of birthday chocolates (thanks, John!), a bottle of Gaviscon heartburn medication (extra strength! Thanks, John!), and a box of tissues. Oh yeah, and a quarter bag of weed.

Haha. Just kidding about the Gaviscon.

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