Friday, May 26, 2006

This is my lamest blog entry, ever. EV-ER. Ugh. You must be bored to death by now. No sense in dragging this on, I'd hate to prolong your agony. I'll end this, now, quickly and painlessly. I can't stand to see people suffer. Not that I can *see* you. That would require either a webcam, which I do not have (though actually for me to see you, it would be you needing the webcam and not me. I love italics. They're so pretty. They make the words go all slanty and stuff...*sigh*), or my presence in your house. I am not in your house. I am in your backyard eating Poptarts, as I should be. I refuse to waste any of your precious time by writing meaningless drivel (mental note: look up the word "drivel" because that may actually be a power tool, which is quite meaningful. Okay, just looked it up. I am apparently refusing to write meaningless spit) or by going off on weird tangents. As I learned in JM101 (my very first journalism class in college...awwww) "Vigorous writing is concise. Emit needless words." So, here I am, emitting...(wait a minute, that's supposed to be "Omit"."Omit needless words." Damn. No wonder that class was so "challenging". Gawd. And here I was trying to blame it on the professor's lazy eye. No, wait. That was Professor Brown in "Basic Reasoning", not the Sharon Stone crotch-shot flick, the class, with the lazy eye. I hope I used my commas correctly there so you know that the professor, and not the class, actually had the lazy eye. "Basic Reasoning". It sounded so easy. So basic. It lied.) omitting needless words...oh, I am so very omitting needless words, now, and being vigorous and concise about it and stuff. So, I don't mean to be abrupt, but you've already taken so much of my time. Or I took some of your time...let's trade time, shall we? Hopefully yours flies faster than mine does.